fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
