So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
