WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
