Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
