I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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