would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
