I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
