I heard we made out
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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