maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
