How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
