Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just saw a hot homeless man
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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