Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You've changed since you got that strap on
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
