How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
