How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
