Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
