so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
