He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
