Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
