If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
