Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
