Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
