Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
