Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize