Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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