I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
