Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize