So drunk its hurt
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
