But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We need to rekindle our bromance
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize