i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
