1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
