Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize