Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
