Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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