my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
