Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
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Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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