he thought i was a dude.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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