I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
