My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
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it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just got carded by a ten year old.
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I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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