nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
