Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
