drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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