my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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