you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize