I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
