So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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