Me too!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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