I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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