Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
