Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
