:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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