At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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