Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
