Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
