Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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