Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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