you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
