If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
PANTIES FOUND
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
