I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
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Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize