in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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