How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
