I wish I only lived at night.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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