These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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