I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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