come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
