theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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