the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
